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Abhishek Krishnan

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CINEMANATOMY

By Abhishek Krishnan
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Frauds In Cinema - Part 1, Cinema, Frauds in Cinema

FRAUDS IN CINEMA - PART 1

(Disclaimer: All names used in this column are pseudo names. Any resemblance to real people is unacceptably coincidental.)
 
We’ve always been fascinated by the captivating world of glamour - yelling at the top of our voices when we see our favorite stars on screen, however attacked by a ‘hyperventilating-star-struck-dumb-flu’ virus when we get to meet them up-close. 
 
The eye widening gloss that the movie industry produces understandingly turns people into ambitious film aspirants – some have been successful, while some are still knocking at the door with black and blue knuckles. People believe that it is a confusing mixture of luck and talent that decides one’s stand in the industry.
 
While many established people in the movie industry wholeheartedly offer a helping hand to numerous film aspirants, it should also be noted that there is an even bigger number of fraudulent miscreants who have nothing to do with cinema, but make use of this aspiration to con you for their gain.
 
I have been a film aspirant for a very long time now and have most stupidly fallen prey to a lot of chicanery. I would like to list a few of my experiences, which might serve as a warning for aspirants who can slip into the same situation.
 
Hero’s friend in Pondicherry
 
So, I get this call from a reputed ‘Rava Porridge’ production company and the production manager, Mr. Will Smith (pseudo name) called me to offer the role of a side kick – the hero’s close buddy.
 
I was so excited that I literally swallowed the gum that I was chewing when the phone call arrived. I soon found myself at their office, noting down dates and working out other logistics before I could make a frantic rush to the location.
 
As soon as I booked my bus ticket to Pondicherry, I get this call from Will Smith, telling me that there would be many bike shots and that I would be required to travel to Pondi by bike. I did not have a bike and Mr Smith was so sweet and understanding, that he said he would manage to get another bike for me at the location.
 
I surprisingly met a friend in the bus, who had coincidentally stepped on the same wheel of fortune.
 
‘What role are you playing?’ I asked him.
 
‘Hero’s friend’, he said.
 
The sharp-as-a-tack story writer in me was very quick to realize that the hero had two friends in the script and the both of us could not stop bragging about God’s meritorious co-incidence packages.
 
At Pondicherry, we met Will Smith, who introduced us to two other chaps who had biked all their way down from Kancheepuram.
 
‘So, what role are you playing?’ I asked one of them with a pinch of hidden pride – obviously as I was cast as the hero’s friend.
 
‘Hero’s friend.’ The answer came from the epiglottises of both of them, with the same amount of pride reflecting in their eyes.
 
I quickly picked up my imaginary story book and made appropriate changes to the story I surmised during my 2 hour journey from Chennai.
 
The next morning I met at least ten others who had the ‘hero’s friend’ tag stuck over their foreheads. The shocking part was that the hero had friends of different age groups ranging from 20 to 50. I dropped that pen off my head and decided not to make any more changes in the story I had already created the previous night.
 
After giving me the privilege to watch the shoot from a corner of the set for five long days, Will Smith came up to me and requested me to head back home as my portions were to be canned in the next schedule. Only the boys who had brought their own bikes were retained.
 
However, at the end of this whole experience, I learned a few things
 
  1. They were never going to call me again
  2. The boys with bikes were retained as the bikes were being used to fill gaps in frames
  3. These people were inhumane – I remember an irking AD pulling a chair away from me, saying – ‘Unakku edhukku chair? Vettiya dhaane irukka.’ (Why do you need a chair, you are jobless anyway)
  4. The movie would never see the screens as the entire team was unprofessional and lacked basic sense. 
  5. No matter how exciting the news from a phone call gets, NEVER SWALLOW GUM.

(To be continued) 

 

Click HERE for the 2nd part

Abhishek Krishnan


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